I've started running every morning at 6:00 AM, the rhythm of my feet as they hit the pavement both meditation and prayer. When it's over, I stretch in the shower, my torso bending, my body bowing in the direction of the sun.
As November stretches out, I sleep earlier and earlier; retiring quietly to my bedroom, a space that has evolved into sanctuary. It is made up of the gentle glow of Christmas lights, slow burn of candles, soundtrack of Tibetan singing bowls. I curl deep beneath blankets and the lights are out by 9 PM. I wake naturally with the sun.
November centers on finding routine, alignment + rhythm. This month, the universe has been affirming my decision to focus on my Self, healing, and body. My mind is as clear as it has ever been; I feel a type of contentment that is entirely sourced from within. I haven't made much time for friends, or dates, or being social, and that feels okay. Necessary even. Meditation, journaling, and reflection have taken center stage. I haven't felt this good in a long, long time.
I still struggle with letting go of the past entirely and completely. I often think about my final semester at Brown, when I took a class entitled "The Bible as Literature" and we read a number of poems about Lot's wife. The question of why she looked back on Sodom still haunts me. I understand that visceral desire and that terrifies me. But even in the times that I have been dead-set on making the wrong choices and back-peddling, the universe has re-routed me. And though the re-routing is often painful, I've found immense comfort in routine; in knowing that my time and energy is being recycled back into my Self.
It's become clear that finding routine better helps me to align with my purpose, or at least not feel as panicked that in a lot of ways, I'm still figuring it out. The remainder of November is for this type of continual reflection. This type of quiet sitting with the self.
How is November feeling for you? x